Category — Infants

Did you know that reading good quality children’s literature with your newborn or your infant child every single day builds their emergent literacy skills? Many parents fail to realize the impact that book sharing has on the brain development of their precious baby. But research shows time and again that reading for short bits of time every day with your baby gives them a tremendous developmental advantage!

Of course, this leads us to a very good question. What makes for a good baby book? Well, babies need bright pictures, thick sturdy covers that they can hold or chew, simple geometric shapes, few words and lots of rhymes. When looking at a potential purchase or library checkout for your baby, try to find a book that has many or all of these qualities. A great example that I use with my own baby, Allison, and toddler, Ella, is board book version of The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. Penguin Books publishes a very sturdy and small version of this book just for babies and young toddlers. They’ll delight when you read to them about the dining adventures of the little caterpillar as he grows and grows. Point to the pictures and talk about the shapes and colors and things you see there, even though you may feel silly doing so with your newborn or older baby. This helps them to develop both their receptive and expressive language and stimulates their love for learning. You are your child’s first and greatest teacher!

Just a few weeks ago we began a new Lunch and Learn training series from the American Library Association called “Every Child Ready To Read.” It equips teachers from the Infants, Toddlers, Twos and multi-age preschool program with resources and ideas for equipping even our youngest infants with the Six Skills to Get Ready To Read.

There are many things you can do as a parent to help equip your child. You are their greatest teacher! Today, I would like to talk about the first of those Six Skills to Get Ready to Read. It’s called Print Motivation. Print Motivation is a child’s interest in and enjoyment of books. This is a gateway skill. Enjoying and valuing reading books opens children up to a more successful acquisition of the other five reading skills.

I believe that no one left to his own nature, is born disliking books and book sharing. They are “taught” to dislike reading and sharing books by poor modeling and negative experiences with books as children. That’s why it is so important to avoid expecting or asking children to “sit still and listen” when sharing a book with them. It’s crucial to make book sharing fun for both parent and child so that your child is more responsive and attentive and develops a lifelong love of reading.

What else can you do to help develop Print Motivation in your child? Read often and make it fun. Make sure that you and your child are in good moods, so the experience is enjoyable. Stop reading when your child becomes tired or loses interest so that reading does not become tedious or punitive for your child. Choose a book you like and read it in an enthusiastic manner!

Our next book will be about the Second Skill to Get Ready to Read: Vocabulary! We’ll have some more good tips for building this with your child.

For more information please visit www.ala.org/everychild

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.

If children live with shame, they learn to be guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.

If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and others.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

By Dorothy Law Nolte - Author of Children Learn What They Live

American children aged 2 - 11 are watching more television than they have in years.  New findings from the Nielsen Company show children aged 2-5 now spend more than 32 hours a week on average in front of a TV screen.

In a related development, the Walt Disney Company is now offering refunds for all those “Baby Einstein” videos that did not make children into geniuses.  According the New York Times, these videos….

“… may have been great electronic baby sitters, but the unusual refunds appear to be a tacit admission that they did not increase infant intellect.”

“‘We see it as an acknowledgment by the leading baby video company that baby videos are not educational, and we hope other baby media companies will follow suit by offering refu nds,’ said Susan Linn, director of Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, which has been pushing the issue for years.

“Baby Einstein, founded in 1997, was one of the earliest players in what became a huge electronic media market for babies and toddlers.  Acquired by Disney in 2001, the company expanded to a full line of books, toys, flashcards and apparel, along with DVDs including ‘Baby Mozart,’ ‘Baby Shakespeare’ and ‘Baby Galileo.’

“The videos — simple productions featuring music, puppets, bright colors, and not many words — became a staple of baby life:  According to a 2003 study, a third of all American babies from 6 months to 2 years old had at least one ‘Baby Einstein’ video.

“Despite their ubiquity, and the fact that many babies are transfixed by the videos, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time at all for children under 2.”

Imagine an infant crying in her crib — a shrill, piercing, unrelenting cry. You pick her up, she cries. You snuggle, you rock, you coo, she cries. You lay her down again, she cries. You search madly for the pacifier; surely, that will do the trick! But a tiny tongue, dripping with mucus and saliva, propels it in your face! The wailing sirens on and on. Is she hungry? No, she whips her head side to side fighting your attempt to feed. You check the diaper, she’s dry. You check her temp, it’s normal. Perhaps it’s fright — or pain! Did a spider bite her, the cat, the older sibling? Why, oh, why can’t babies talk?!

Feeling anxious? I am. Just writing about it knots my stomach, tightens my neck, clenches my jaw. My palms are even sweaty. In these situations parents can go down one of two paths. Neither is easy, but one is a horror.

When soothing words flop, parents continue talking — to themselves! “I can do this. Things WILL get better. This, too, shall pass. Dr. Know-It-All says it’s a stage all babies go through. He did say that, didn’t he?!”

Two parents makes coping with the stress easier. When one runs thin on patience, the other can step in. But tag-teaming only works when both parents are willing, and both are at home. Single parents must be resourceful. Some call a relative or friend for support. Or they muffle the crying by waiting in another room until the little one tires herself to sleep. Most parents, and children, survive the tough times. Of course, the chances are greater if kids are of easy temperament; they don’t test parents as often!One path is to hang tough, to ride out the crying jag without shaking, tossing, or hitting the child — come hell or high water. And most parents can do it. They cling tenaciously to patience. Some do it by talking — first to the baby: “There, there, Sweetie. What’s wrong? Don’t worry, mama’s here. What do you need, angel?”

But there’s another path that can lure parents. When children are perplexing, exasperating, and infuriating, parents can succumb to anger and violence. Feeling abused themselves, parents retaliate, matching a child’s wrath, decibel for decibel, flail for flail. Sometimes it works. Abuse scares kids into compliance. But that doesn’t make it justifiable or right. In time, abuse backfires, setting the stage for a frightening ballet. Parents withdraw, then explode, withdraw, then explode. Sometimes leading, sometimes following, children join the dance, taking their cues from the parent’s mood. Ultimately kids carry the dance into our child cares, schools and businesses.

The macabre choreography provides jobs for social workers, psychologists, police, lawyers, and judges. It robs kids of the sabbatical known as childhood — a fragile time of growth that’s a necessary prelude, not a luxury, for a stable adulthood. It’s hard to fathom why, once indulged, the dance continues. Obviously hurting a child vents intense emotion, but surely one twirl would shock (scare!) a parent into restraint. Yet often it doesn’t. So (I shiver to wonder), does inflicting pain provide a momentary euphoria? Is abuse satisfying, to the point of becoming habitual?

We don’t like to say adults “chose” to abuse. We call it impulse, as if abuse is a residual, primitive behavior that over-rides thinking, takes control, and makes us lose our minds. But abuse isn’t dirty laundry handed down from our evolutionary past.To say instinct drives abuse, rather than free-will decisionmaking, infers humans are innately evil, that we’re at the mercy of genetics. I don’t believe a chromosomal stew destines one to hurt children.

Abusing children, especially repetitive abuse, is a behavioral choice, not an accident. Through mind-searing experiences, abuse is taught, often looping from one generation to the next. The cycle is highly resistant to change. Conditions setting the stage for abuse can be cited and examined, but they don’t absolve the abuser of his or her actions.

I don’t think abuse is merely impulse, but I also don’t think it’s usually premeditated. It’s a wits end, knee-jerk decision, a misfire triggered by anger. In an imperceptible split-second, parents decide to fly off the handle, to use belittling language, to toss, throw, kick, bang, or pound. When parents are pushed against the wall of their limits, abuse must seem a rational choice. It’s not of course. But at the moment, it must seem so.

Whether due to panic, fear, selfishness, or even shame, abusers typically choose to protect themselves first, and their children second — if at all. They keep evidence of their offenses, their children’s scarlet marks, covered from public view until bruises and wounds heal. Though hard to imagine, kids are rehearsed, taught to fib about injuries.

Parents who abuse can choose to seek help, but they often don’t until forced to by child protection laws. Family members can fail to demand an abuser seek help, hoping to keep the abuse a secret — even though they know child abuse is illegal, and more damning, inhumane. Denying reality becomes an unsavory family conspiracy of silence. And so kids lie to neighbors, caregivers, teachers, social workers, and even ministers. Stymied in silence, they fear revealing parents’ flaws, fear sending parents to prison, fear landing in foster care. But mostly, kids remain silent or lie because they’re afraid of losing their parents’ undying love. Surprise you? It shouldn’t. Our society gives greater permission to keep secrets than to seek help. We perpetuate self-defeat. And we condemn kids to years of torment. We’re fools to pretend that even the strongest of kids can endure such stress and still end up contented, stable adults, unscathed and undamaged.

From what I’ve seen, adults can get by with abuse for years. No one wants to point a finger. We believe parents are well intentioned,we give them benefit of the doubt,we preserve a false sense of normalcy instead of facing reality. But we wear our optimistic blinders too long, as we allow children to suffer. Their suffering is guilt we must bear. To stop abuse we all, especially family members, must be realistic as well as optimistic. There’s much we can do to reduce the violence. We must identify abuse early, when it’s most treatable. We can reinforce kids’ rights to hold offenders, even parents, accountable for their actions. It will earn children’s trust.

We must openly discuss abuse and then reach out to help kids be resilient. We can counteract abuse by teaching kids to manage anger constructively and to problem solve cooperatively. We can model self-respect and civil treatment. We must support young parents by lending a sympathetic ear, an empathetic wink, a bit of advice. In doing all that,we’ll earn the right to be optimistic about making life safer for kids.

I’m convinced we can keep abuse from eating away at family trees like a crippling fungus. But it will take you, and me, and all who love your children to exert the will to do it.

The week of March 1 is the annual Read Across America celebration. Many families feel a vast amount of pressure to prepare their young children for school. The market reflects our fear that our children will not be able to compete at- or above-level, with products like Your Baby Can Read and Baby Einstein grossing big dollars from concerned and well-intentioned parents.

But what about the tremendous value inherent in sharing good quality children’s books every day? Our hectic schedules and extra-curricular overload of activities and organizations often prevent us from stopping in our tracks, grabbing a good book and reading with our child sitting in our lap or by our side.

Reading with your child enables measurable leaps in their cognitive and language development. It develops a love for reading, an enthusiasm for learning and it hones the pre-reading skills they will need in their scholastic and personal life. The neurological connections young children develop during shared reading do much to prepare them for later academic performance and skill mastery. And the social-emotional foundation you’re already building with your child is vastly strengthened and supported by shared time with you enjoying a good book together.

I know that sounds too simple. In our fear, we expect to find out that we need DVD trainings, special worksheets and community experts to “hardwire” our children. We hope, in a bit of desperation, that sitting the toddler in front of a video or providing our preschooler with a “point and click” computer game will offer us a quick fix and deliver us (on time and under budget) a child who is reading fluently, doing long division and on the fast track to the Nobel prize.

Unfortunately, it is a longer track to the Nobel and the way is paved with good books and shared experiences. No DVD video can do what you accomplish when you visit your local public library and select some fun and varied books with your child to share over the coming week. You convey to them how truly important, and fun, reading is when you share a commitment to read to them for about 15-20 minutes every single day.

Once you’ve made the decision to read to your child every day, you may be wondering what books to choose and what kinds of purposeful things you can do to teach pre-reading skills as you go. For a start, there are literally hundreds of good books for each developmental age and stage. The most helpful advice is to visit your local library and speak with the children’s librarian about your child, their age and interests. Let the librarian guide you to great selections that are age appropriate.

As for good tips on sharing the books, most importantly, always share books you have enjoy. If you’re not enthused, they may not be, either. Try to read with voice inflections, emphasis on important words and passion. Point left to right at the words across the page as you read the story to help children learn reading orientation. Spend a lot of time with your child, just looking at the pictures. Ask them, when age appropriate, what they think is happening in the story, what they think might happen next and how the characters might feel. Also, talk about the setting of the story and the action of the plot. This helps introduce them to story elements.

Above all else, enjoy this time with your child. Soccer, boy- and girl-scouts and all other extracurricular activities are fun and important to social and emotional development. But nothing is more important than the relationship you build with and education you provide to your child by sharing books and reading together.

In this first installment of age appropriate reading lists by age, we will share 10 books for ages 2, 3, and 4.  Check back often for more recommendations!

Milk and Cookes - Asch, Frank
Boats - Baron, Byron
Planes - Baron, Byron
Bow Wow!  Meow! A First Book of Sounds - Bellah, Melanie
Barney’s Big Balloon - Bernthal, Mark
The Runaway Bunny - Brown, Margaret Wise
Papa, Please Get the Moon for Me - Carle, Eric
Freight Train - Crew, Donald
Jamberry - Degen, Bruce
Go, Dog, Go! - Eastman, P.D.

In this first installment of age appropriate reading lists by age, we will share 10 books for ages 2, 3, and 4.  Check back often for more recommendations!

Quick! Quack! Quick - Arnold, Marsha
Country Crossing - Aylesworth, Jim
Animals Should Definitely Not wear Clothing - Barrett, Judi
The Berenstain’s B Book - Berenstain, Stan & Jan
Old Hat New Hat - Berenstain, Stan & Jan
The Velveteen Rabbit - Bianco, Margery Williams
Gingerbread Baby - Brett, Jan
The Mitten - Brett, Jan
Wings on Things - Brown, Marc
Goodnight Moon - Brown, Margaret Wise

1. You don’t have to wait for your baby to get to a certain age to begin reading to him.  Start now!
2. Continue reading aloud to your child until he is at least 10 years old.  Children continue to benefit from listening to others read long after they themselves have learned to read.
3. For young children, books with rhythm, and repetition are excellent.
4. Be consistent about reading aloud to your child.  Do it daily and, if possible, about the same time.  Reading right before bedtime often works well.
5. If you have several small children, you can read to them together.  Picture books work well for this situation.
6. Don’t be surprised if your children want to hear a favorite book again and again.  That’s fine.  As they get to really know the story well, have them fill in words for you.
7. Make sure you select books that are at the child’s interest level.
8. Some children love reading about the same characters.  If that’s what your child likes, choose several books in a series.
9. Vary the subject matter of what you read as well as the type.  In addition to fiction, you might also read poetry, magazine articles, and non-fiction.
10. As your child gets older and gains in reading ability, occasionally pick a book right at his reading level and take turns reading to one another.

Tips:

When reading a chapter of a book each night, always review what happened in the previous night’s chapter before starting a new chapter.

When you begin reading aloud to a baby, you will only be able to keep your baby’s attention to a few minutes.  This is to be expected.

As children mature, so do their attention spans.

Common Sense Media is dedicated to improving the media and entertainment lives of kids and families.  Among other things this organization provides handouts for parents on the impact of the media on children that can be downloaded for free. In the handout:

• 61% of babies under 2 years old spend time in front of a screen (and 14% of babies are in front of a television or computer for two or more hours a day).
• 19% of children 1 year or younger have a TV in the bedroom.
• Each hour of viewing baby DVDs/videos is associated with lower vocabulary development for infants.

The handout’s introduction points out:

“The program ming is adorable. The packaging conjures up famous thinkers and composers.  All of this baby media is part of a multimillion-dollar business — a good thing to think about when tempted to buy or use them.   After all, you are your baby’s best teacher.  So when it comes to trying new ways to help your child think, you may want to start by putting that baby program on pause.